It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize