apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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