I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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