Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
