Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Terrible idea I love it
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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