Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
