He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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