I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
