It's Friday. Sex?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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