Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
operation have a gay friend backfired
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize