It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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