Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
