what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
