In the future we'll all be gay
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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