i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he thought i was a dude.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
