he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
In other news, I just burned my penis
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Randomize
