I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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