i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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