thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
