I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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