He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
