Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
honey bunches of taint.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
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