You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize