haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
