I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
