I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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