Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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