Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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