Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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