I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
