Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
