do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
