I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
