You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
