i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
