Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
