What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
