So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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