The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
