Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
