It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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