If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
