Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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