What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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