But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
