I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
