just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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