that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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