worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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