It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
