And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
