It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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