I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize