It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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