Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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