my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
