you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
