Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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