One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
