the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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