I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
