yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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