all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
