This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
