Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
