GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
