If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
