I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
