Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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