So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
