Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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