Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
