She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
